


Long Way Around Episode 2: A New Home

by Rivermoon1970



Series: The Long Way Around [2]
Category: Criminal Minds, Stargate Atlantis
Genre: Alternate Universe - Sentinels and Guides Are Known, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Family Feels, Loss, M/M, Spirit Animals, Time Skips
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-16
Updated: 2017-04-16
Packaged: 2018-10-19 17:04:08
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,710
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10644249
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Rivermoon1970/pseuds/Rivermoon1970
Summary: Aaron's life through the years after he moves in with his cousin Patrick Sheppard. His losses, loves and lovers. New beginnings and surprises along the way. It isn't always easy, but each step brings him closer to the one person he needs most in the world, his Guide.





	

**Author's Note:**

> There are a lot of time skips in this installment. This is on purpose. I did not want to spend a lot of time on getting the characters where they needed to be. I wanted to move the overall story along. Hope you enjoy.

Aaron was sitting on the blanket in the park reading, Lucifer and Einstein were curled up together, and the feeling of the pre-bond from his Guide settled inside him even more. It was six months after he had come online, and also when he had been taken in by his cousin Patrick Sheppard. He was still skittish around them, never knowing how to act. He would watch John and David as they ran around outside, tracking in mud and dirt, playing rough with each each other as boys often do. He listened as Olivia Sheppard, cousin Patrick’s wife, playfully admonish her boys for getting dirty, but did it with a smile on her face. He watched as the boys spread out doing homework, playing games, even playing video games. Something his father never let him do. If he even looked like he was going to track in dirt, his mother made him clean up on the covered porch first. The only places Aaron had been allowed to spread out were his room. and the library. Even then he was forced to make sure he knew where everything was and to put it up exactly like he had found it.

He didn’t know how to act around his cousins, but he yearned to play like they did. To learn video games, to spread out and not care about being so meticulous. He longed to stop running away when Patrick had his one scotch before going to his study to do some work, or keep his head down when wine was served at dinner. Everything was still so new to him. He was also sad that he wasn’t going to get to see his brother be born. That was the one thing he had looked forward to, being a big brother. Olivia had assured him that he could be that for Alec, but it wasn’t the same. He was having a harder time adjusting than he thought he would. There were times over the last six months that he thought about calling Thomas and letting them take over as his guardians. There was one thing stopping him. The Hotchner pride.

His cousins had dragged him to the park, which he didn’t mind. It was pretty, and in the shade of the trees he could read and let the feeling of his Guide wash over him. The presence had been one of the best things to have ever happened to him. Though he knew his Guide was still so young, it didn’t negate the feelings he was developing. He just hoped that he would be able to meet them at some point, hopefully not the far too distant future.

When the football landed on his lap, Aaron looked up sharply only to see the smiling face of John.

“Hey, sorry Hotch,” John smiled wide as he flopped down next to Aaron. The seven year old had been trying to engage him, he just wasn’t sure how to act around John. “I think I’ll take a break as well. Jackass over there is relentless.” 

Aaron looked at him wide eyed, he would never think to cuss, especially not about a family member. And, he wasn’t sure why John had started to call him Hotch when he had asked him over and over to call him Aaron. 

“What book ya got there?” 

“Um, it’s called  The Left Hand of Darkness. Its pretty cool.”

“What’s it about?”

Aaron looked down at his cousin and raised a brow, he leaned back against the tree that he had planted himself near.

“Well, it’s about this guy whose dreams actually become reality. Then this psychiatrist, he starts to treat the guy cause he thinks he is going crazy. When the Doctor figures out the guy was telling the truth he manipulates him into changing things. Well, it just gets worse and worse over time and the guy has to figure out the best reality for them all.”

“Wow, sounds cool. You sure you don’t want to play?” John popped back up and had the ball in his hand. Aaron felt Lucifer nudging him towards his cousin. Rolling his eyes at the spirit animal, Aaron stood up.

“I’m not really dressed for it.”

“Eh, just take off the jacket and the vest, and maybe your shoes and socks. You’ll be fine.” Shrugging, Aaron did as John said, the grass was thick and cool between his toes. The park was well cared for, and a lot of the kids appeared to go barefoot. Biting his lip he bent down and rolled up his pant legs then went after John. 

Dave was a fun teacher. Aaron had never really played ball with his parents, and most of the kids at his old school never made the effort to try to be his friend. By the time that it was dusk outside, the three boys packed up and started on the way home. They were laughing, bumping into each other on purpose, playfully punching each other in the arms. When they got to the house Aaron was a lot more relaxed around his family than he had been from day one.

Dave and John ran ahead of him and burst through the doors of the kitchen, debris flying around them.

“Boys, I expect you to clean this up,” Olivia called after her sons. Aaron walked through at a slower pace, a smile on his face. “Aaron, what happened to you?” Olivia asked as she looked at him.

Aaron looked down and noticed the tear in his pants, his shirt had been pulled out and was rumpled. He lifted his hand and felt his head, leaves fell down when he ran a hand over his short hair. His eyes widened and the panic had set in. This was it, he just knew he was going to get punished for ruining his trousers.

“I...I...I’m sorry, I’m sorry…” he repeated over and over as tears filled his eyes. The anxiety was building and when Olivia bent down on one knee Aaron braced for whatever punishment was coming his way.

“Sweetheart, shh, its okay, its okay you didn’t do anything wrong. I promise you.” Aaron felt wound tighter than a spring. He knew it was irrational, but he couldn’t stop the spiral he had fallen into. Everything was bigger than it should be as his heart pounded almost painfully in his chest. When Olivia held up a hand Aaron couldn’t take it. He ran to his room and shut the door. Flinging himself on the bed Aaron tried not to cry. Crying just made everything worse. Made the punishments worse.

He was shaking and curled up on the bed when the knock on his door came. He curled up even more afraid to move, not daring to make any kind of sound. Lucifer was curled up at his stomach trying to help him to calm down. The door opened and Aaron heard soft footfalls. When nothing happened other than a hand gently touch his shoulder, he almost broke.

“Oh baby, I’m not mad at you honey. No one should ever be mad at their children for just being children. You surprised me is all. I haven’t seen you play with your cousins, and it made me glad to see you looking a little roughed up. John likes you a lot Aaron. He wants to see you happy, just like we all do.”

When Olivia spread her hand on his back and just kept it there, Aaron turned and flung himself in her arms. When she wrapped him up the dam broke and all the years of pain he had experienced came pouring out. Einstein was curled around his neck while Lucifer rubbed against his side. A small flare in the bond hand him clinging to Olivia even more. 

“Shh, it’s alright Aaron, just let it all out. No one is going to hurt you, I promise.” Aaron cried till he just couldn’t cry anymore. When he slumped down in Olivia’s arms, she laid him back on the bed and sat there for a few moments trying to understand her own emotions. She could never bring herself to hurt her children, not like Aaron had been hurt. Shaking her head she left the room and softly closed his door.

Olivia went to her piano, it was the one place that she could release her emotions in a healthy way because what she wanted to do was kill one Marcus Elijah Hotchner. 

“What happened Liv?” Patrick asked as he came into the music room and sat next to his wife.

Olivia stopped playing and barely controlled herself from slamming down the fallboard. She stood and started to pace around the room.

“That poor boy, Pat. He finally actually played with the boys today. When they got home, the smile on his face was absolutely wonderful. Then I asked about a tear in his pants. It’s not even a big tear, something the Mena can mend easily. He had a panic attack Patrick. Over a tear in his pants. He thought he was going to get punished. I have never seen a child so scared in my life.”

Patrick took a few deep breaths before he spoke.

“Where is he now?”

“He’s in his room. I went to go see how he was and, god that poor boy, he flung himself in my arms and cried till he was spent. He’s sleeping now. I swear I want to ruin Marcus. How could he hurt his own child? And what is going to happen to Annabelle’s baby? Will they hurt that boy too?”

“Honey, you don’t know if they will do the same to Sean as they did to Aaron.” 

“Don’t you take that tone with me, Patrick Sheppard. You know as well as I do that abuse rarely only happens to one child. If Marcus could do it to Aaron, you know that somewhere along the way that baby will experience it now that Aaron is no longer there to be his punching bag.”

“And, my dear wife, what is it I am supposed to do about that?”

“You can either convince your cousin to leave Marcus, and we will make a place for her here, or if she doesn’t, sue for custody of the boy. Make them take the S&G blood test. If it comes back positive we have grounds for custody through the center.” Olivia crossed her arms and glared at Patrick.

“Honey…”

“Oh, no, you do not Honey me Pat. You fix this. She’s your cousin, and I will help support her if she is willing to leave that man. If not, I am more than willing to raise both children.”

“If the baby has the markers, it’ll be fairly easy, but if he doesn’t, there is no precedent. But, let me talk to Annabelle. And go from there.”

“Good. Now go clean up for dinner.” Olivia pushed Patrick out of the room. She then went to the kitchen to check on the chicken that was roasting. She would do whatever it took to protect not only Aaron, but 10 week old Sean as well. She just hoped her husband got on board and did something, or she was absolutely going to take matter into her own hands otherwise.

* * *

“Anna, you know as well as I do that if Marcus sees these results, he could hurt Sean. Your baby is only a few weeks old, and technically the center could step in and take the baby from your care. I had to beg Liv to stay home or else she would be here too and believe me, you don’t want my wife here right now.”

“Pat, please don’t take Sean from me. I know I was weak when it came to Aaron, and god I miss my boy, but don’t take Sean, I’m begging you.” Annabelle Hotchner had tears in her eyes and a hand gently laid on Sean’s small tummy. 

“Anna, the only way is for you to leave Marcus. Now, my lawyer got ahold of your pre-nup and it’s good. It’s solid even, you leave with what you came into the marriage with as does he. He can’t even fight you on the house seeing as it was Grandfather’s and he gave it you as a wedding gift. Marcus’s name isn’t even on the deed. Liv is more than willing to let you come live with us. Can’t you see what that man is?”

Annabelle stood and started to pace nervously, her hands twisting in front of her. Patrick noted how scared she looked and knew that there was more than just the physical abuse that was going on.

“I, I don’t know what to do. I loved him, once.”

“I know, Anna. But, if you stay I’m actually scared for you. Don’t make me do something drastic. Think about both of your sons. You come live with us, I can protect you. I can protect the boys, but if you go back, I can’t do that and you will lose Sean.” Patrick wasn’t playing with her. After seeing Aaron scared, socially stunted, and afraid to even play like any other 10 year old, he was prepared to do the hard thing. He and Olivia were prepared to take in the baby and raise both boys along with David, John and soon to be born Alec.

Annabelle was pacing back and forth, her eyes flickered to her son in his carrier. Patrick had to let her come to the decision herself, then steps would be taken from there. 

“I can see Aaron?” The broken sound coming from Annabelle had Patrick on his feet and enfolding his cousin in his arms.

“Annie,” the old endearment slipped out easily. Patrick held the woman close and felt her shaking body. “You can. You can have both your boys, and we’ll help you, but you have to be strong, Annabelle. You have to be willing to leave Marcus.”

Annabelle broke away and moved to pick up Sean. When she had the boy in her arms, she knew what her decision must be. 

* * *

Aaron was sitting at a table at the school’s library. He was trying to finish up an essay for his AP English class when a girl sat down at his table.

“You’re Aaron, right?”

Shyly he looked up at her, looked around the table and lifted his brow.

“Um, yes.”

“I’m Haley.”

“I’ve seen you around school.”

Lucifer was prowling around Aaron’s legs, while Einstein was on the table glaring at the girl.

“You’re a Sentinel?”

“Yes.” Aaron was trying to figure out why the pretty girl was talking to him. He felt the stirring of his Guide and wondered if something was given away over the bond.

“But you have two spirit animals? That’s unusual isn’t it?”

Aaron blushed as he looked down at his paper trying to get back to it so he could finish it. Tonight was his birthday and Uncle Patrick had promised a family night out. He was turning fifteen. The first year he had been with his cousins had been rocky, but after his Mom and Sean came to live with them, things got better. Aaron loved being a big brother to Sean, and Alec as well. The two youngest were growing up together and were as thick as thieves. Just like he and John were. David was the odd man out. He had felt a little out of place, but Aaron tried to include him as much as possible. 

“Hey, brat, what’s going on here?” Aaron sighed as David plopped down next to him.

“David, this is Haley. Haley, my older cousin David.” 

“Hello,” Haley blushed. Then John slid into a chair on the other side of Aaron. The twelve year old was only one class down from Aaron. All three of them were far above the classes they were in, even going to one of the more prestigious schools in Virginia. Aaron was going to be a Senior, but he was also taking online college courses. By the time he graduated High School, he would be going straight into college as a Junior. David was already in college, and John wasn’t far behind Aaron.

“And, this is John,” Aaron tried to hide the smile that spread on his face.

“Einstein doesn’t seem to like you,” David was always a little too blunt for Aaron’s liking.

“He’s so cute. But, why do you have two?”

“He already has a pre-bond with his Guide.” David was less than tactful, and it was always a little embarrassing when people found out the kind of Sentinel he was. 

“Dave,” Aaron growled under his breath and kicked his cousin for being an ass.

“Oh, I’m sorry. Is he here?”

“No, I’ve ah, I’ve never actually met him,” Aaron could feel the heat in his cheeks as he looked down at the paper he was attempting to finish.

“That must be strange,” Haley smiled. That smile did strange things to Aaron. Things he was not prepared to feel. He had a Guide. The last five years had been comforting, especially in the upheaval of his Mother and Sean moving in. The ugly divorce from his father, and Olivia getting sick. In all of that Aaron could always count on his Guide being there.

“A little, but it’s nice at the same time.”

“Hey, we should get going. Need to pick-up the terrible twosome.” John bumped Aaron’s shoulder making him smile. “You know Mom is gonna make us get them cleaned up for tonight, I do not look forward to that.” Aaron laughed at John’s exaggeration as he packed up his things.

“So, you’re that Haley Brooks that’s in drama class, right?” Dave asked as he grabbed John’s backpack and Aaron’s as he stood up.

“Yeah. It’s a fun class. There are still openings if any of you guys are interested.”

“Oh, not me, I’m going to Richmond, second year there,” Dave’s chest puffed up a little. Aaron and John just rolled their eyes. The oldest Sheppard boy was a little cocky about already being in college and getting, ‘college girls’. 

Aaron was aiming for Columbia Law, but he kept that ambition to himself for the time being. He had the grades, as well as the extra-curricular activities, but it was his age that worried him. He would be sixteen, almost seventeen when he left High School. 

“Big whoop, so you get college girls, that doesn’t mean anything, dumbass.” John punched his brother in the arm as he stood earning him a glare from his brother.

“I’m sorry, I have to go,” Aaron smiled shyly at Haley, who smiled back at him.

“I’ll see you around?” She asked as he stood up.

“Yeah.” Aaron nodded, then walked after the bickering brothers. It was all done with no malice from either one. They loved each other even if they didn’t understand each other. It amused them both as Aaron had learned a long time ago.

The ride to pick up Sean and Alec was short. The boys were playing on the swings at their school. They ran to the car, smiles on both faces. Aaron was glad that Sean had never had to go through what he had gone through. He had lessons at the S&G center twice a week, friends, family that supported and loved him right from the start. He would never feel the hand or the belt from their father and Aaron would be forever grateful for that. Some would think that he should be jealous, but Aaron had no time and no inclination to feel jealous over something that he couldn’t change. 

His thoughts turned inward as his encounter with Haley flashed through his head. He could not help the strange feeling that he was feeling. He never imagined that he would be attracted to anyone other than his Guide, but maybe the distance and the age difference between them was keeping Aaron from actually being attracted to him. But, it was the comfort, the love he felt that bound them together. He knew that when they finally met, there was nothing that was going to hold him back from embracing his Guide. For now, he would live with what he had.

Getting ready for dinner was always chaos. Five boys in one house, there were inevitable fights, fidgets, roughhousing, and any number of things to slow the progress of actually getting ready to leave the house. Even with three adults it was difficult, but finally they all came out of their rooms, washed, dressed and ready to go.

Dinner had been fun. They went to a game park that had a video arcade, car racing, a mini-golf course and slides. The four youngest played all over the park, each adult making sure they kept an eye on them. David opted to just stay in the arcade. After about three hours they were all rounded up, then they were off to the movies. Patrick rented out a whole theater that was showing Star Wars, just for them. 

Getting home that night Aaron was exhausted, but happy. His birthday had been awesome, but it was no less or more than what Patrick would do with his own boys. Aaron put all his gifts away, then got ready for bed. The day had been perfect, even Haley talking to him had been nice. With a smile on his face Aaron fell asleep and dreamed happy dreams.

* * *

A week after his birthday Aaron knew something was wrong. He felt, melancholy, like something was missing, he was having a hard time putting his finger on it. Even Lucifer was off. Then, while he was reading for one of his classes it hit him. Einstein had not come to him in more than  a week. Setting his book aside, Aaron got into a meditation pose like Simon had taught him, and concentrated on that part of him that made him Sentinel. 

Simon and Thomas had been very surprised that Aaron was as stable as he was through his teenage years. They knew that having the pre-bond with his Guide was a big part of it, as was the family that had built up around him. The Center Directors knew that one day, when Aaron was older, he was going to be a force to be reckoned with. For now though, he just wanted to know what was going on with his Guide.

Letting his mind go, Aaron searched inside himself, tried to find that other half that he was fated already to be with, and found...nothing. Aaron frowned and concentrated even more, but it was all the same, nothing was there. That place where his Guide lived, it was empty and Aaron had no clue why. He felt the stirring of loss in his heart. He had no clue what to do, how to find out who his Guide was, all he knew was that he was younger and his spirit guide was a white coyote. If something happened to him, Aaron wouldn’t be able to know. 

Coming out of the meditation Aaron felt hollow and strange. When he was called to dinner he did not want to go, but he did. He ate by rote, not really tasting anything. When he snuck a peek around the table he saw that Olivia looked worried for him. He just shook his head letting her know he didn’t want to talk.

The next day Aaron went to the Center after school, he had asked David to take him, but to not tell anyone that he was stopping. He would get a ride from Simon or Thomas, or catch a cab back home. David didn’t like just dropping him off, but he said that he would be fine. Walking in he told the front desk who he wanted to see, the young Guide that manned the station looked like she wasn’t going to let him through, he said his name again and glared at the girl till she called for the directors.

“Aaron, what’s wrong? You alright?” Thomas asked as he approached the young Sentinel.

“No,” Aaron felt like his world was tilting yet again and he had no clue on how to handle what was happening.

“Come on, let me take you back and we’ll talk. Do you want Simon there also?” Aaron nodded and Thomas just tucked the boy next to him as they walked back to the private offices.

Simon was there waiting for them, Aaron assumed that he felt that something was wrong. The bond between the directors was strong enough that they could feel each other’s emotions from miles away. 

As the three of them sat down, Lucifer showed up and curled up in Aaron’s lap, a whine emanated from him making Simon and Thomas frown.

“Aaron, can you tell us what’s going on?”

“I don’t feel him anymore.” It wasn’t until he voiced what was going on that it became very real. The grief he felt was almost overwhelming and without his Guide, he wanted to curl up from the sensory spike he was feeling.

“You don’t feel your Guide anymore?” Thomas asked and Aaron could hear the concern in his voice.

Aaron shook his head as he held Lucifer close to him.

“And Einstein, he’s gone too.” The tears spilled down Aaron’s face as his stomach clenched in fear. “What does this mean? Is he gone? Is...is he dead?” The pain he felt at the thought that he could have lost his Guide before he even really knew him was worse than any pain that had come before.

“We don’t know Aaron. We can try a search, do a spirit walk.” 

“I don’t know what I did. Did I scare him? I-I only talked to her once, I swear.” The tears fell as he held onto Lucifer not knowing what to do.

“Come on. Let’s go to the meditation room and see what we can do.” Aaron kept a hold of his Spirit Animal trying to find comfort from him as he leaned into Thomas’s side while they walked out to the meditation room. Once there Thomas had joined them, the pair was able to help calm Aaron down. Slowly they guided him into a meditative state, then Thomas pulled Aaron onto the Spirit Plane. They took careful steps to look around, to try to find Aaron’s Guide, but neither of them could find the boy. Aaron lost all track of time as they looked, his heart-breaking that he had lost something so profound before he truly ever had it.

Once back on the physical plane, Aaron broke. Simon pulled him onto his lap and Aaron put up no protest. With Lucifer wrapped up on his lap, Simon held him and let him grieve. When he was spent, Aaron had fallen asleep in exhaustion. 

Thomas picked Aaron up and instead of putting him in one of the beds at the center, they knew he would do better with family surrounding him. Getting to the Sheppard compound didn’t take long, and the first person to the car was Olivia with Annabelle not far behind. 

“What happened?”

Thomas sighed as Simon once again picked Aaron up in his arms. 

“Let me get the boy settled and we can talk. Is Patrick home?”

“Yes, I’ll get him. Anna can show you them Aaron’s room, then we’ll meet in the den.”

Aaron didn’t move the whole time that Simon had him. The moment they crossed the threshold, John was there looking worried.

“What happened? Is he okay? What’s going on? Why is he so sad?” The questions spilled fast and furious. John was just as worried as his Mom.

“Why don’t you stay with him, John. He’s going to need a friend when he wakes. I will leave it up to him to tell you what’s going on. I’m going to talk to your parents, but they will keep his privacy, do you understand?” Anna brushed back her son’s hair, she didn’t even hide her worry for him. 

John frowned a moment then nodded he understood. Simon laid Aaron on his bed, then took off his shoes and socks. John pulled the desk chair over and sat in it, watching over Aaron. Simon smiled sadly, but knew the bond between the two boys was strong and very brotherly. Finally, he left them then followed Anna to the den.

When Simon entered he went right to his Guide, sitting with him on the couch while Patrick, Olivia and Anna took seats around the Prime couple.

“I don’t know what happened, but Aaron’s Guide has retreated from him. He came to us in despair and we did a private, guided spirit walk. We only know the boy is still alive, a tiny thread of his signature was still connected to Aaron. If he had died, there would have been a different aura surrounding your son. He is hurting a lot right now, and it might be a good idea to have him talk to someone. The bond isn’t completely broken, but…”

“It’s not what it was,” Patrick finished for Simon. The adults felt the heaviness of those words coming from the Primes.

“He’s devastated. He already, as much as he could at this age and with their circumstances, loved his Guide. Aaron was all in and excited to meet him when the time was right. Unfortunately we have no way, at this time, of finding the boy to try to understand what happened. It may take Aaron time to heal from this and it may make him wary and unsure of any future possible bonding's.”

Patrick stood and went to the liquor cabinet. He poured a finger of scotch and downed it in one go. Shoring up his resolve, he was determined to do all he could for Aaron.

“Alright, we’ll have him see the same psychologist as before. She’s a Guide and he trusted her. I feel so helpless.”

Olivia stood and went to her husband, wrapping her arms around him she tried to comfort the both of them.

Annabelle paced, Aaron had already known so much pain in his life, she knew he didn’t deserve more. Leaving the den she went back to Aaron’s room and told John that she would stay with Aaron and watch over him. John didn’t want to leave, but Annabelle told him he could stay the night.

“Oh Aaron, I’m so sorry. I wish I could take this pain away. I love you.” Annabelle was still trying to make-up for everything her son went through at the hands of his father. She knew that she had to be the one to pull him through this because her son meant everything to her.

* * *

“Aaron Hotchner, why are we making-out in the back of your car?” Haley laughed as she lightly shoved him away.

“Because tomorrow we are both leaving for separate colleges. Hales…”

Haley smiled softly and cupped Aaron’s cheek.

“It’s alright Aaron. And I agree. This long distance thing won’t really work and we are both smart enough to realize it. And, we also agreed that if neither of us found someone, there are still possibilities. I love you, but I’m not stupid and I’m not going to pine.”

Aaron chuckled as he blushed. When he was with Haley, that constant ache he still had for the Guide he had lost was still there. He thought that it would always be there, even if he did find someone else, it would never be like what he once had. 

“I love you too.” Aaron leaned in and kissed her, his hand cupped her still bra covered breast. They had done everything except full intercourse. Aaron had been hesitant and Haley understood. “And I will miss you.”

She wasn’t stupid, they had talked about why Aaron was hesitant about sex and she respected his boundaries as much as he respected hers. 

“I think I need to get you home. I have packing and a long drive tomorrow. And don’t think I won’t write you, I will.”

Haley smiled as they broke apart, both putting themselves back together. Once they moved back into the front seat, Aaron drove Haley home. He walked her up to the door, which opened and Roy Brooks stood there, arms crossed staring at Aaron.

“Decided to bring her home at a decent hour?” The animosity from the man Aaron never understood. He was always polite with Roy, but nothing he did ever seemed good enough. It also did not help that David had a bit of a reputation with women, and that Aaron’s own father was an utter asshole, or the fact that John was unashamed at being seen with men or women. He wasn’t his family, though, and it pissed him off that Roy had judged him right from the start.

“Well, I have packing left and a long drive to college tomorrow. Haley, I’ll write as soon as I’m settled. Goodnight.” He leaned down and gave her a chaste kiss on the side of her mouth, then pulled back to look at Roy. “Sir, I hope you have a good evening.” Aaron turned and walked back to his car.

“I don’t know what you are playing at Hotchner. But, I’m glad you are leaving. My daughter deserves the best.”

Aaron knew the man had followed him, he sighed as he turned to face Haley’s father.

“I don’t understand why you hate me. Is it who my family is? Is it my Sentinel status? What? Because I have shown you and your daughter nothing but respect. I love Haley, a part of me always will. I’ve never hurt her, I’ve never abused her, I never would. So, tell me, what is it?”

“You Sentinels, and especially you Sheppard’s, you think you are just better than everyone else. Flashing your money and connections around. Haley deserves someone who thinks of her first.”

“Yes, on that we agree. But, you forget one thing, my family has done nothing but good for the people of Arlington and other parts of Virginia and DC. They care and in turn they instill loyalty. This isn’t about the Sheppard's, this is about money, and your prejudice against Sentinels.” Aaron glared at Roy, his arms crossed over his chest, Lucifer growling low next to him.

Roy didn’t even care about the Lynx growling at him as he stepped into Aaron’s personal space.

“I’m glad you broke it off with her. No daughter of mine is going to get involved with a Sentinel, least of all someone with more money than they know what to do with. I know what will happen. All you Sentinels are the same, play around with us, what do you call us? Mundanes? Then hurt us when you find your so-called Guide bullshit. I don’t believe it, you know. It’s just an excuse not to hold to the vows you make. An excuse to fuck around with someone else. And all you people with your money, flashing it in her face, making her want more. Yeah, I don’t like you, never have. I will be glad to see you gone.” Roy glared at Aaron who held his gaze.

“You are just a bitter man who can’t see that Haley is making her own choices. Be careful Roy, hold on too tight and you will lose her. It’s her choice to be with me or not. Not yours. So, with all due respect, Sir, fuck off.” The flash of anger in Roy’s eyes didn’t even have Aaron backing down. The staring went on for a couple of minutes till Haley was yelling for her Dad to stop it and to come inside. Aaron could see the reluctance in Roy’s eyes, but he finally turned and stalked back to the house. 

Aaron felt a slight stirring in what was left of his tattered bond with his Guide. Someone he tried not to think about anymore, but his anger and hurt must have alerted him somehow. When a white Coyote tried to come and comfort him, Aaron was even angrier.

“No,” he growled low in his throat. The Coyote whined and looked up at him with familiar hazel eyes. “Please, just go back to him. He doesn’t want me, that much has been made clear.” Einstein moved closer and nuzzled against Aaron’s legs once, then disappeared. The bond pinged, but Aaron pushed down on his feelings, not giving in. He got in the car and drove home. He knew he was emotional and needed some time to center himself. He would not let himself care, no matter how much his Guide tried to touch the bond. Aaron would only care if they ever met face-to-face and he could get some answers. For now he was just going to concentrate on school.

* * *

“Oh fuck that’s amazing,” Aaron panted as his face was buried against his pillow, his fingers curled in the sheets under him. The pounding he was getting from his current lover had him shaking with pleasure. He shut his eyes and a little ping of jealousy from his other half had come through, but he ignored it, like he had for the last four years. The bond sometimes flared sporadically every few months. He was not going to give in, especially when he was being fucked within an inch of his life and it felt amazing.

Biting the pillow, Aaron cried out as he came all over his bed. Terrance, the man he was currently seeing, was not far behind.

“Jesus, Hotch.” The breathless voice washed over him as the man pulled from his body and lay to the side of the bed. Having his own apartment had always been easier for him than the dorm rooms. He had tried the dorms, even the ones that were built just for Sentinels and Guides, but he still had issues. Patrick had no problem getting him an apartment as long as he kept up his grades and took a part time job. Currently he worked as a law clerk in a small firm which gave him flexible hours and worked around his school schedule.

Aaron turned toward Terrance and chuckled.

“That was amazing. But, now I’m hungrier than I was before. Want me to heat up the pizza?”

“Sounds good. Just going to jump in the shower.”

Aaron bent down for to kiss Terrance ignoring the little voice in his head. Pulling away he threw on a robe and padded out to the kitchen. He ignored the fact that Einstein was looking at him with hurt and anger in his eyes. The Coyote had started showing up just as sporadically. Aaron still protected his heart. 

“Don’t judge me. If he wants to find me, we’ll talk but for now I am going to live my own life.” Aaron turned to the kitchen and felt Einstein leave. He ignored the little flare of trying to reconnect and closed his eyes. He knew he was being petty, but for almost four years his Guide had completely ignored him. It wasn’t till the night he broke-up with Haley that he even saw Einstein again. Then the last four years these visitations. Aaron could admit he was still hurt.

“Hey, you get lost in your head again?” Aaron plastered on a smile and turned in Terrance’s arms. For now, Aaron would enjoy what he had, then worry about the future later.

In the morning after Terrance left and Aaron was relaxing trying to get some reading in for classes, his phone rang.

“You okay?” The voice on the other end of the line asked with genuine concern.

“I’m fine, why?”

“I don’t know, I just had this feeling that something was wrong.” 

“John, I’m fine.” 

“Right, so Einstein sitting here looking at me like a lost kicked puppy is everything is fine?” 

Aron rubbed at his eyebrow. That had also been happening every so often. The Coyote showing up around John.

“I had a date with Terrance last night.”

“Yeah? How’d it go?” 

“How do you think?” Aaron tried to keep the smile off his face as he thought about the previous evening.

“You got laid,” John teased through the phone.

“I’m not telling.”

“Just be careful Aaron. I know you fall too easily and you keep having your heart broken. You keep trying to replace  _ him. _ And, I know you don’t want to hear this, but you should really try to forgive. You don’t know what was going on, maybe something terrible happened to him.”

“Then why wouldn’t he want me to help? Why is it every time I try to look for him he hides from me. Knowing he’s out there and he’s mine, but he doesn’t want to be found, it tears me up, John. You’ll only understand when you find your own.”

“Yeah, about that…”

Aaron narrowed his eyes, not that John could see him, “What did you do?”

“I signed up for the Air Force.”

“What the hell, John? You know Uncle is going to flip.”

“Well, it’s what I want to do. I want to fly, Aaron, you of all people know that.”

“And school?”

“I’ll still get my degree, I can do that while in the service. I want this. You know I don’t want to be at SI. I’m not cut out for board meetings, and sales projections and whatever else Dad does.”

“You know very well how SI works, don’t try to play stupid with me John Sheppard. Look, just...be careful and I’ll back you, I promise.”

“I’m counting on it.”

“Look, I have to go, I need to finish this reading then I have work. Will you still be around for a while?”

“Not leaving for three months. So, yeah we have some time to get into trouble.” Aaron laughed, then said his goodbyes to John. Sighing he put the phone down and picked-up one of his law books, the paper he had been working on was due in a couple of weeks and he wanted to get it finished. He was on the fast track to finish law school early, he had plans for his future and the only way he was going to get what he wanted was to finish up in school. Taking a deep breath he got back to it, hoping to get his work done so he could meet Terrance for dinner. John was right, he did need to watch himself, he really did fall in love too easily, but he was wrong in that they were substitutes for his Guide, nothing could come close to what he once had, and nothing will ever come close, he just had to learn to live with second best.

* * *

After Law School, Aaron had moved back to Virginia and ran into Haley once again. It took a while, but they started to date again, then Aaron got promoted to the prosecutor’s office. He married Haley, and pushed the thought of his Guide deeper down. Every Guide search, every trip to the spirit plane was like a stab to his heart. He ignored the bond, and after a while Einstein stopped showing up. Aaron wasn’t sure whether that hurt worse or not. Time passed and he focused solely on his career and his wife.

Aaron got tired of seeing the bad guys get off on technicalities or the cases dropped on his desk when the body count was too damn high. When the opportunity presented itself he moved into SWAT, to the protests of his wife and uncle. Thing was, he was good. He was better than good. In two years time, Aaron was able to get his own small unit in Seattle. Moving there was a good thing, and even Haley was on board with it. The work was hard, but he was happier than he had been in a long time.

Then, David Rossi walked into his life and opened up an even bigger world of possibilities. When he was invited to D.C. to talk about joining the elite BAU, Aaron jumped at the chance.

“Hey, heard some rumors that you are moving back to D.C.” John shouted into the phone.

“Where in the hell are you?”

“Iraq. Just got back from a mission.”

“John,” Aaron gripped the phone tight. Worry for the man that was more than brother to him.

“I’m fine. Going to be in DC in a few weeks. Meet up for a beer and catch-up? Let me see Haley.”

“Sounds good to me. Just get home in one piece.”

“I will, don’t worry I’m fine.”

But, Aaron did worry. Though he was still close to David and Alec, he and John were just that much closer. The two of them shared a bond that neither of them could explain. Simon, at one time, said that it was a rare Sentinel bond. That he and John had started to form it the day Aaron was taken in by Patrick. Aaron knew if anything happened to John, it would be devastating. 

“I’ll always worry.”

“Well, tell David and Alec I’ll be coming in and the four of us will make it a Sheppard night out.”

Aaron laughed and shook his head. The last time the four of them got together was just after Alec had graduated, then followed in John’s footsteps by going into the Air Force. Uncle Pat had not been happy, but he didn’t fight his son’s on what they wanted. Aaron was worried because DADT had not been repealed, even for Sentinels and Guides. It was something that the community was still trying to fight for the rights of S&G’s on, so far, the military wasn’t budging. But, they were beginning to waver, especially in the overwhelming number of psychological issues of Sentinels coming online only to be denied a Guide when found. Aaron was one of those that was studying the effects of bond suppression on some of the criminals the BAU had put behind bars. He tried to ignore the fact that his own suppressed bond was the reason he was doing the research. 

Aaron said his goodbye’s to his cousin, then decided to go to bed. The next day was a huge step in his life and he could almost taste it. He wanted this and he was determined to get it.

* * *

“So, Elle is gone, Jason is gone, what the hell are we going to do, Hotch?” 

“Dave is coming back to the unit. As for replacing Elle, that’s going to take a little time. We can handle it, Morgan. We are no worse off than when Jason was on medical leave after Boston.”

Morgan chuckled and shook his head. 

“I guess you’re right. Prentiss has fit in really well. I just wish Elle had gotten some help.”

“I couldn’t make her go, Morgan. She was the one that decided to continue using and as much as I wanted to protect her, she was fighting her own demons. I’m sorry it ended the way it did. This unit isn’t for everyone.”

“Got that right. So, what’s Rossi like?”

Aaron and Morgan got into a discussion about David Rossi when the man himself showed up. Aaron was glad to see him, especially after the last few months. Morgan left the office and Dave took the chair he had vacated.

“Why are you really back Dave?”

“Would you believe unfinished business?”

“Are you going to tell me what this unfinished business is?”

When Dave didn’t say anything, Aaron stood and went to the window looking out on what was left of his team. JJ, Morgan and Prentiss were good together, he hoped that Dave being back didn’t disrupt them. They had all cared for Jason, and his leaving was still difficult for them all to reconcile.

“Things have changed, Dave. We don’t work individually, we work as a team. Every single person out there is not only valuable, but I care about them.” Aaron gave Dave a very pointed look.

“What are you trying to say, Aaron?”

“I don’t want to see any of them hurt with your bedroom games.”

“Aaron, you wound me,” Dave smiled playfully at Aaron.

“You’re horrible, you know that?”

Aaron chuckled at his friends antics. When he turned around to go back to his desk he saw Einstein curled up with Lucifer. The bond had been humming deep inside him for months now, but he chose to ignore it, especially with Haley leaving him. The Coyote had been coming around a lot more and Aaron tried to ignore him, but it was sometimes hard. It had been years since he had felt anything in the bond, that was until Breitkopf and the events that led up to Jason leaving. Ever since that day when Jason confronted the serial killer in the diner, the tug on the bond had been almost daily. 

“Who's your friend?” Dave asked as Lucifer stood and stretched, Einstein did the same and came over to Dave, sniffing him.

Aaron had never told anyone except Jason one night after he came back from Boston after Detective Shaunessy sent him back to DC. That night Aaron had a little too much to drink and told his friend and mentor about his Guide. Jason had just watched him, and a part of Aaron wondered if the man was going to make a pass at him. But, the moment quickly passed, and in the cold light of day, with a massive hangover, Aaron chalked it up to his very drunken state.

He watched the two spirit animals for a moment before they started to play, then disappear.

“I never told you about my Guide?” Even saying that much still hurt.

“You have a Guide? Why did you never say anything?”

Aaron wiped a hand over his face to try to settle his emotions.

“It’s complicated. It happened when I came online at 10 years old. For almost five years we had this profound bond. Einstein, the Coyote, was practically a constant companion. Then I don’t know what happened, one day I couldn’t feel him anymore. But I knew he wasn’t dead, I could still feel a bond with him, but it was nothing like what we had previously. I was devastated, angry at them even. I’ve tried to find him several different ways over the years, then I just couldn’t keep trying anymore. He didn’t want to be found. Every so often Einstein shows up and I don’t know what the hell it fucking means. Lately, since our initial encounter with Breitkopf actually, I’ve not only felt a humming in the bond, but Einstein has been coming around more lately.”

“What has Haley said about all this?”

“She’s always known. She was fine with it, but after Jack was born, and Einstein showed up in his nursery, she freaked out. We have not been on the same page since.”

“Aaron, what’s going on with you and Haley?”

Aaron looked down at his hand and twisted the ring still on his finger. 

“She left. Part of me can’t blame her, but ever since Jack like I said we have not been on the same page.”

“I’m sorry. I have no advice to give on the love life front Aaron. Three ex-wives does not a wise man make. But, I promise I’m not here to hurt anyone. I really do want to come back and work.”

Aaron studied Dave for a few moments then stood and held out his hand.

“Welcome to the team.”

There was a rocky start with Dave on the team, but eventually they settled down and everyone learned to work together. Aaron knew they he still needed to fill the vacant spot on the team, but he wanted to make sure Dave was settled and working well with everyone before he made a decision.

When Einstein came back and laid down on his desk, Aaron sighed, reach out, and for the first time in years he scratched the spirit animal's head.

“You’re a manipulate little asshole.” Aaron pulled his hand away and felt a happy flutter in the bond. He tried not to think about what that really meant. When Einstein stood and pushed the the files around his desk, making one more visible than the others, Aaron just lifted a brow. 

“Dr. Spencer Reid. This is who you think I should hire?” The Coyote yipped at him then disappeared. Aaron opened the file and started to read. He was suitably impressed, and the name niggled at the back of his mind. He picked up the phone and called Morgan into his office.

“Morgan, what was the name of the kid that Jason was trying to get on the team?”

“Umm, Reed, or something like that. Kept going on about his degrees and how smart the guy was. I personally never understood why someone that smart would want to come here. From what I understood he could write his own ticket to anywhere. I think there was something about him being too young when he graduated.”

“Yeah, I remember Jason was trying to fast track him through, but the Bureau wouldn’t let him. Here, read this, he graduated from the academy and has been helping Andi’s unit.”

Morgan sat and read through the file.

“He’s got good marksmanship, top of his class, already did the profiling classes on top of his other ones. Smart, he failed the physical the first couple of times, then here, see this, Hotch? He got a personal trainer, flew through the physical the next time he took it. I like him. Andi gives him glowing marks.”

“And he’s a high-level Guide. The Bureau put a seal on his status, they’ve only done that with a few people.”

“Like you?”

“How did you know?” Aaron frowned at him.

Morgan tried not to laugh, “Gideon. He thought you needed a Guide and was trying to interfere. JJ and I stopped him before he could do anything stupid. This was before Boston.”

Aaron took the file back and laid it on his desk, he would look over the others, but there was a part of him that was already thinking that Dr. Spencer Reid would be the perfect addition.

The decision on filling the spot on his team had to be put on hold, a case in Montana took them away. In fact, they had several cases back to back when Aaron was finally forced by Strauss to make his choice. When he gave her Reid’s file, Strauss just nodded her head and left.

Once again they had a case that had taken them to Florida. The strangeness of it shook them all up, most of all Morgan. Aaron had felt like something wasn’t right during the whole of the case, but he couldn’t put his finger on it. He was in full Sentinel mode when the last female victim had been taken. Using all of his senses, and the clues Morgan got from the Pastor and what Prentiss and JJ had found at the Sanitarium, Aaron had a fix. When they got to the UNSUB’s house, Aaron could tell that their victim was in there. 

As soon as they breached the house, Aaron was assaulted by the smell coming from the UNSUB’s cold storage, and it had made Aaron almost pass out, but they had their guy. By the time they had him in interrogation he was refusing to talk, until Morgan pulled out the recipe book. It was horrific and Aaron was glad when they were finally on the plane going home.

Aaron had gotten home later than he had wanted to, and as he was walking through his door, his phone rang. When he answered, it was the hospital calling him to tell him that Penelope Garcia had been shot.

Throwing on jeans and a t-shirt, Aaron rushed out the door. He peeled out of his parking space, Lucifer right by him, trying to comfort him. He was on high alert again, he knew it was dangerous for him to be in hunt mode a second time in less than a day, but one of his own had been hurt. When he got to the hospital he flew inside only to be stopped by a young man in what looked like a college professor’s outfit.

“Agent Hotchner, I need you to calm down. I can already feel your heart is racing too hard, and your eyes are a little too wild.”

“Who are you?” Aaron tried not to get upset that someone was keeping him from one of his agents.

“I’m Dr. Spencer Reid. I was supposed to join you in Florida, but I had something I had to take care of. Now, I can help you dial it back, if you don’t, two things are going to happen, you are going to collapse from sensory overload, and they will not let you have access to Miss Garcia. Now I know this is us meeting under terrible circumstances, but when I was called in I already got things rolling. There are CSU techs at the crime scene taking care of evidence collection. There isn’t much else that you can do at this point other than to take a deep breath,” When Aaron did, Spencer gave a little half smile. “Good, now, may I touch your wrist?” 

“Yes,” Aaron had not said a word. He was mesmerized by Spencer’s voice and how quickly he relayed information. When long, slim, elegant fingers gently wrapped around his wrist, Aaron thought he was going to collapse right there and then. 

“...ay with me Aaron. Come on stay with me.” Spencer kept repeating, but Aaron was having trouble fighting the flood of emotions, sights, sounds, and smells. It was all too much, especially the hard thrumming in the bond with his Guide. He didn’t understand where everything was coming from and he couldn’t control it. Aaron Hotchner collapsed. The last thing his eyes laid on was Einstein weaving in and out of Dr. Reid’s legs, but it couldn’t be, Aaron’s last thought before he blacked out was that he just might be going crazy.


End file.
